California Riding Magazine • December, 2008

The Emotional Side of Riding

by Robin Heckle

“The path to your horse’s heart lies through your own.”

This is an anonymous quote sent to me recently by a friend. It struck a chord with me and was the inspiration for this month’s column.

You might think that if I believe this quote to be true I would never psych myself out or get lost in my head with things like anxiety, nervousness, fear, self doubt or unnecessary pressure, but, alas, I am still plagued by them all at times.

My experience shows me that I cannot just wish them away when they appear and happily get back to my heart where it’s peaceful. Many times I struggle against them only making it worse. So if I’m not going to fight the feelings then what am I to do with them?

Meditation has taught me to sit with them, watch them, be aware of them but remember I am not them. I picture my thoughts like cars on a freeway going by, each one representing an individual thought in my mind. A Chevy truck with a bed full of anxiety, a GMC Yukon with tinted windows (I know there’s something scary in there), or, conversely, a convertible with its top down symbolizing freedom.
I am aware of them, my thoughts (the cars). I can watch them or even jump in one and drive away with it. Riding off into the sunset in the convertible of freedom sounds like a much better choice than skidding out of my head’s parking lot in a truck bed full of anxiety. But how do I do that? How do I make that choice? Before we get to that, let me give you one more analogy to think about.

A simple and pleasant concept is to visualize a waterfall, your thoughts as the water and yourself in a cave behind the falls. You are a witness to the water going by but not the water itself. Here again, you can choose to follow a certain thought as it crashes down the falls or just watch it go by with all the others. Awareness is what’s paramount in both concepts. This is your true power—the ability to detach from the never-ending chatter of thoughts and go into awareness. Here, in this state, we have choices and opportunities to master the things in ourselves that block us. Just as we work on our outward riding skills, so too will we benefit from internal work.

No Pillow Needed

You might think that this all sounds good but who brings their meditation pillow and candles to a horse show? You don’t need any of that to take a moment and be present. I recommend the walking meditation. This can be done on horseback or on your own two feet. The idea is the same. We use the repetitive motion of footfalls to concentrate on bringing our awareness into a quite internal place (no matter what might be going on around you, like loud speakers). This focus allows us to tap into that internal place where we can view our thoughts and hopefully detach from them. This can all happen in a matter of one pass around the warm-up ring or one length of the barn aisle. Remember, it’s typically thoughts of the past or the future that make us crazy. The mantra of “Be in your feet” should help you greatly when attempting to get in the present again and find your way back to your heart.

Mastering awareness, concentration and patience and capturing our moments: These are an invaluable part of the picture that is our overall riding experience. If I can’t get into my heart on any given day or in any given moment, a quick trip inside my head’s freeway or waterfall is a sure bet to reveal what traffic might be in my way. Then, the best news, I can let it go by realizing it’s me that hangs onto things. Any attachments to thoughts or ideas that I may have are mine to keep or simply throw away. I wish us all many joyful days in our hearts, providing us the chance to once again touch the hearts of the horses we love.

(P.S.: If you are interested in learning more about meditation I highly recommend the book Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabot-Zinn. It changed my life!)